Posts tagged April Fool
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New AAA campaign grinds gears of region’s motorists
This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke. A new campaign by the region’s leading automobile advocacy group has created controversy in the local motoring enthusiast community. Seeing a need to mollify critics who say that motorists disregard the law and endanger other road users, the American Automobile Association’s Mid-Atlantic chapter… Keep reading…
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DC tries to ice problem of “cupcake deserts”
This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke. Many residents of Southeast DC and Prince George’s County must drive 30 minutes or more just to buy fresh produce. Activists concerned with public health have recently made such “food deserts” a social justice issue. Food deserts have been eclipsed, however, by a far more widespread crisis… Keep reading…
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Metro discontinues bag searches
This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke. Today, Metro police chief Michael Taborn announced that WMATA will cease the much maligned random bag searches. This will allow MTPD to focus their time and resources on a new tool in the fight against the serious and imminent threat of terrorism on Metro’s trains. “Bag searches have become too predictable,”… Keep reading…
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Growing government vehicle scandal envelops Wells
This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke. The ongoing scandal over inappropriate government SUVs has widened with a stunning revelation that DC Councilmember Tommy Wells also has a “fully-loaded” government vehicle of his own. Council Chairman Kwame Brown has come under fire for leasing two black Lincoln Navigators at a cost of nearly $2,000… Keep reading…
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Breakfast links: Some things that are sadly not jokes
Didn’t see him, no consequences; NBC4 photographer hits cyclist; The worst gas station ever; Jack is for Chair, not on Twitter; New safety at New Carrollton; Bike swap and clinic; Things that are jokes; Tickets for getting doored. Keep reading…
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Dinner links: In public
This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke. Keep reading…
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Historian discovers Masonic freeway conspiracy
This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke. In a recently published article, a local historian claims to have discovered hidden messages in the design of Washington’s freeways. The historian, Tyler Vanderschmidt, says that he has found evidence of a Masonic conspiracy to use freeway building to embed the symbology of the secretive organization in the… Keep reading…
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Hopkins announces Barnesville West “Science Country” plan
This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke. Johns Hopkins University today unveiled its new growth plan, Barnesville West, also known as “Science Country.” Science Country involves constructing a grid of 2,000 individual buildings of 3-4 stories in height, each containing 50,000 square feet of office or laboratory space. To preserve open space,… Keep reading…
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New group opposes in-ground streetcar rails
This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke. The debate over DC streetcars has heated up again with a new alliance against DDOT’s plans to install in-ground rails. In a press release today, the Organization for Moderate Growth With Trackless Functioning and Better-than-Bus Quality announced that they would oppose any technology reliant on a guideway… Keep reading…
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DC proposes closing 14th Street bridge nights and weekends to close budget gap
This article was posted as an April Fool’s joke. Mayor Fenty’s proposed FY2011 budget, released today, calls for a complete closure of the 14th Street bridge on evenings and weekends to save maintenance dollars. DDOT estimates that closing the 14th Street Bridge would save approximately $10,000 per day. Spokesman John Truthle says people will still be able… Keep reading…